Ok, for real this time...
So I gave the 5-day deadline, I posted the "unedited" (and mostly unreadable) version on the blog, and now, finally, we're actually closing in on the real thing. And this time there's no b.s. I have to be done with this soon in that my advisor goes on sebatical at the end of the next summer term (i.e. this July), so if I mess around, I'm up the creek...the creek named shit.
After my advisor and I met and looked at the initial draft, he made some good suggestions, and I feel I've carried them out. I'll present to him on Monday, and then he'll decide if it's time to defend (and I'm all but sure he'll decide that it is). I'm not going to post another version on the blog until it's defended, however, in that I'm tired of showing everyone an incomplete picture of what I was trying to accomplish. I'll just be glad when it's over and I can think of something else. Seriously, this thing has plagued my thoughts for so long now...I haven't been able to relax in over a year.
As if this wasn't enough, another monkey-wrench got thrown into the works yesterday. Neil, the area-director for the company currently employing me (Total Wine) approached me after lunch and said he really wanted to put me in the development program for being a Wine Manager in a Total Wine store (a little different from what I do now, but more money). Sounds okay, right? Well...
Total Wine, all in all, has been a great experience. I've been treated well on most occassions, I get free stuff (LOTS of free stuff), I meet famous winemakers, etc, etc. However, there's also the unrelenting schedule (at least 50 hrs./wk), the often absurd expectations of corporate lackies who never set foot in the actual stores, and the fact that I've spent the better part of 3 years now pursuing something that isn't being a Wine Manager. I mean, I love wine, and I love working around it and helping people understand it...but in order to succeed in Total Wine, you have to play ball, and that means selling your soul so that the profit margin goes up and the Trone brothers (founders of Total Wine) can make another yacht payment. If you think that sounds like all retail operations, well, I guess it sort of is. With one exception: whether my number is 5% under or 80% over what it's supposed to be, I still get the same hourly wage. There's nothing substantial to motivate me. That may sound selfish, but we're not talking about working for the Red Cross here. We're talking about retail, and the only reason anyone gets into retail is to make money. I don't go to work everyday out of the goodness of my heart--I do it because I have bills to pay. If I had no bills, I wouldn't work.
And I guess that's what I'm getting at: I did all this school shit so that I'd be able to get a job where money wasn't a factor; where I'd be paid little or nothing and not care because I was doing something that needed to be done and that I wanted to do. I don't have aspirations to teach high school kids in Indonesia because I'm chasing money. But if I invest my life in a company like Total, then I'm pretty much sealing the deal that I'll wake up everyday thinking about how I can make the Man another dollar instead of thinking of how I can make the world a little less miserable.
I don't know. What do y'all think?
After my advisor and I met and looked at the initial draft, he made some good suggestions, and I feel I've carried them out. I'll present to him on Monday, and then he'll decide if it's time to defend (and I'm all but sure he'll decide that it is). I'm not going to post another version on the blog until it's defended, however, in that I'm tired of showing everyone an incomplete picture of what I was trying to accomplish. I'll just be glad when it's over and I can think of something else. Seriously, this thing has plagued my thoughts for so long now...I haven't been able to relax in over a year.
As if this wasn't enough, another monkey-wrench got thrown into the works yesterday. Neil, the area-director for the company currently employing me (Total Wine) approached me after lunch and said he really wanted to put me in the development program for being a Wine Manager in a Total Wine store (a little different from what I do now, but more money). Sounds okay, right? Well...
Total Wine, all in all, has been a great experience. I've been treated well on most occassions, I get free stuff (LOTS of free stuff), I meet famous winemakers, etc, etc. However, there's also the unrelenting schedule (at least 50 hrs./wk), the often absurd expectations of corporate lackies who never set foot in the actual stores, and the fact that I've spent the better part of 3 years now pursuing something that isn't being a Wine Manager. I mean, I love wine, and I love working around it and helping people understand it...but in order to succeed in Total Wine, you have to play ball, and that means selling your soul so that the profit margin goes up and the Trone brothers (founders of Total Wine) can make another yacht payment. If you think that sounds like all retail operations, well, I guess it sort of is. With one exception: whether my number is 5% under or 80% over what it's supposed to be, I still get the same hourly wage. There's nothing substantial to motivate me. That may sound selfish, but we're not talking about working for the Red Cross here. We're talking about retail, and the only reason anyone gets into retail is to make money. I don't go to work everyday out of the goodness of my heart--I do it because I have bills to pay. If I had no bills, I wouldn't work.
And I guess that's what I'm getting at: I did all this school shit so that I'd be able to get a job where money wasn't a factor; where I'd be paid little or nothing and not care because I was doing something that needed to be done and that I wanted to do. I don't have aspirations to teach high school kids in Indonesia because I'm chasing money. But if I invest my life in a company like Total, then I'm pretty much sealing the deal that I'll wake up everyday thinking about how I can make the Man another dollar instead of thinking of how I can make the world a little less miserable.
I don't know. What do y'all think?

